Well I figured why I was feeling so sick yesterday. PMS. I have no idea how my hormones can be so different out here. At home, I never get PMS. It's usually just cramps. I guess it's all the processed food and extreme exercise. It just occurred to me that I walk from 530am to 630-7pm. That's around 13 hours with about an hour lunch. I don't typically take any other breaks during the day besides potty and water breaks. Sometimes I'll switch out my socks. It's kind of insane. My body is in such a weird place right now.
Throughout the day, I was listening to podcasts and some were sad stories where people die and it made me cry. Then I thought about people I know that have passed in this last year and it made me cry. Then I thought about how Nate and Meg are officially gone and it made me cry. What is going on with me right now?! So emotional and so not like my normal self. I mainly walked solo today and did lunch alone.
The worst part is when I arrived at camp. As usual, I'm always the last one to show up but this time, there were a bunch of others set up and nowhere for me to pitch. Hiking in larger groups is hard bc we need so much more camp space. I walked around looking for a spot and ended up pitching away from everyone. Once again, emotions started hitting me and I felt so solo, alone, outcasted. Everyone else has a solid hiking partner or group that they are committed to. They make plans and communicate mileage together. I don't make plans w anyone. I do water sources by myself and don't talk to anyone all day. Nobody hikes at my pace. I don't know why all of a sudden I am feeling this way except I think my hormones are whack. It's not that I want a hiking group or partner, I just feel like I'm super solo right now. There's no one to motivate me out here other than myself. I have no appetite for dinner tonight so I just ate candy. I really miss our first two weeks of Sierra group. Like, a lot. Why are there no more solo hikers out here anymore? Every group is like 5+ and that's way too much. I'm also starting to get this weird ankle rash and usually it itches really bad when I get ready for bed.